7 Steps to Deal with Negative Work Colleagues

As more Australians return to physical workplaces, many are finding themselves once again side by side with colleagues they did not choose, including those who drain energy, complain constantly or bring a negative tone to the office.

Wellbeing and mindfulness keynote speaker, relationships coach and best-selling author of Free and First – Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, Elizabeth Jane, said it is important to acknowledge how much emotional energy is absorbed during a typical eight-hour workday spent next to others.

“You spend more waking hours with colleagues than with your loved ones. That environment can shape your mood, your motivation and even your sense of self-worth if you are not careful,” Jane said.

“Learning to manage negativity in the workplace is essential for your mental wellbeing. Often it can be difficult to know how to manage the negativity especially when you love your job but don’t like the way people around you behave.

“Rather than let it affect you and impact your job satisfaction, it is important to develop some measures to help you navigate a way forward.”

Jane shares her practical advice for how to survive and even thrive when working next to someone who constantly brings the energy down.

Protect your emotional boundaries

“You do not need to absorb someone else’s energy just because they are physically near you,” Jane said.

“Visualise a boundary around yourself, an invisible wall of calm. When they speak, listen without engaging emotionally. You can stay empathetic without getting entangled.”

Creating a clear mental distinction between your own emotions and theirs is a powerful first step in maintaining personal peace.

Do not take it personally

Many people project their stress, frustrations or unhappiness onto others without realising it. Elizabeth said the key is not to internalise it or react to it but to respond in a calm but authoritative way, speaking up when your boundaries have been overstepped.

“If someone is rude, cynical or emotionally charged, it says more about their inner world than it does about you. Remind yourself without judgement, this is not mine to carry. Do not enable bad behaviour by ignoring it,” she said.

Choose to champion you

Choose not to engage in toxic behaviours and dramas that deenergise you such as complaining, judging, comparing or competing.

“The best way to stay energised is to speak up authentically about what matters to you. How you honour your own feelings sets your standard. Be your own best supporter, giving yourself what you need to feel to feel content and free,” Jane said.

Control what you can

You might not be able to control their attitude but you can choose how you respond. It is vital to ensure you have healthy boundaries in place, confirming what behaviour you won’t tolerate for your wellbeing.

Elizabeth also recommends setting up small rituals to replenish your energy during the day. Take a quick walk, step outside, stretch or play a song that lifts your mood on your break.

“Micro resets throughout the day ensure you stay present, calm and content no matter the whirlwind around you,” she said.

Say no to energy vampires

It’s important always to honour your self-worth whether at home or in the workplace.

“If you find yourself giving from a sense of guilt or pity or a sense of resentment or needing approval there is an imbalance of power in your relationships which can leave you drained,” Jane said.

“Rather than, ‘I’ll just keep the peace’, have that conversation that you have been putting off and reclaim your power.”

Find your workplace allies

Build connections with more positive, like-minded colleagues. Surrounding yourself with even one or two emotionally steady coworkers can be grounding and uplifting.

“You do not need to be best friends with everyone, but having allies in your day makes all the difference. Protect your energy by choosing who you give your attention to,” she said.

Start and end your day intentionally

Elizabeth said one of the best ways to stay emotionally strong is to create a powerful start and end to your workday.

“Begin your day with intention. Listen to something inspiring, practise a few moments of mindfulness, or write down three things you are grateful for. At the end of the day, mentally let go of what is not yours to carry home.

“Ensure you do positive and uplifting things once you leave work.  Make a nice meal, call a loved one to say hello, listen to music that lifts you.”

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